Condoms have always been with us. Before the HIV epidemic many women were on the pill and didn’t give a second thought to a man wearing a condom unless she had some doubts about his personal hygiene. While condoms were to protect both parties, it hasn’t been until recent times that anyone has given any consideration to a woman’s sexual feelings.
We have always read that back ‘in the day’ wives were considered property of their husbands. It was accepted that a man had a wife who bore his heirs and kept several mistresses on the side. If the man was a wealthy landowners he had the chamber maids with whom to amuse himself. Wives’ notion of sex was that it was something that was their ‘duty.’ They accepted their lot in life because that was accepted.
Prior to the War of Northern Aggression in the U.S. (also known as the Civil War) men had their pure wives and mistresses on the side. Being a man’s mistress wasn’t all that bad. The woman and any children were generally given a home of their own and the woman never had to work. Quite often the men cared more for their second families than they did their legal ones.
That war in the states changed a lot of things. Many men died and many southern families lost everything they had. A man could not support his own family much less a second one. He was too tired from working from sun up to sun down to think about anything but food and sleep. When he wanted sex, his wife did her duty.
The above is fact. Yet in researching the best condom for women, we came across some other very interesting facts.
Women have a Huge Sex Drive
Several years ago there was a very interesting article by Alyssa Goldstein for AlterNet. Back when the U.S. was just a bunch of barbaric colonies a man named James Mattock was expelled from the First Church of Boston. He was not a heathen. He was a ‘God-Fearing’ man. For some reason, self-punishment maybe, he refused to have sex with his wife for two years. These were Puritans. Just think. It is believed that they felt this punishment was too much for his poor wife. The Puritans at that time believed women needed more sex than men. Men could no without – but not the woman.
What’s remarkable is that there was a time when a man could return his wife to her family if she refused her wifely duties. How did all this get so confusing? Our popular culture believes that men need more sex, more masturbation and more porn than women. Who decided this wasn’t the case?
According to Goldstein from ancient Greece up to the 1800’s women were actually the sex fiends of their day. Can you imagine all the female approval in the early Olympics in Athens when those men competed in the nude? The stadiums must have been full of young women just salivating. In one of the stories of Greek mythology the great Zeus and Hera argue about whether men or women enjoy sex more. They asked a prophet that Hera had worked some magic on. His answer was, “if sexual pleasure were divided into 10 parts, only one part would go to the man and nine parts to the woman.”
Women began to be seen as inferior when the Bible became the Good Book. After all, it was Eve who tempted Adam in the Garden of Eden. He could have said no – but she got all the blame and therefore women needed strong men to put their blossoming passions into perspective. Now we have the double standard. Men can screw around but when a woman does, she’s a scarlet woman.
This is a direct quote from Goldstein’s article: “Early 20th-century physician and psychologist Havelock Ellis may have been the first to document the ideological change that had recently taken place. In his 1903 work Studies in the Psychology of Sex; he cites a laundry list of ancient and modern historical sources ranging from Europe to Greece, the Middle East to China, all of nearly the same mind about women’s greater sexual desire. In the 1600s, for instance, Francisco Plazzonus deduced that childbirth would hardly be worthwhile for women if the pleasure they derived from sex was not far greater than that of men’s. Montaigne, Ellis notes, considered women to be “incomparably more apt and more ardent in love than men are, and that in this matter they always know far more than men can teach them, for ‘it is a discipline that is born in their veins.’” The idea of women’s passionlessness had not yet fully taken hold in Ellis’ own time, either. Ellis’ contemporary, the Austrian gynecologist Enoch Heinrich Kisch, went so far as to state that “The sexual impulse is so powerful in women that at certain periods of life its primitive force dominates her whole nature.”
She says that women were programmed from birth to be ‘pure and chaste’ and to save themselves for marriage. Generation by generation passed this down to their daughters and those who did not adhere to these morals were often shunned and thrown out of their families. For a time it was considered that women of the upper crust were passionless and therefore were good prospects for marriage. Women who were poor or black were not considered good marriage material. However, they were great for satisfying male urges.
Women like Sex!
Sex for a women is no longer a duty. Sex is fun. She should get just as much fulfillment out of the event as the man. Women have orgasms. This should give some of the doubters a clue. If no woman ever reached an orgasm, then why would she have sex with anyone? Childbirth is wonderful; it’s a miracle. But if women didn’t get some sort of enjoyment out of it, there would be fewer births for sure.
It makes a man feel like a stud when his women has one or more climaxes during sex. He’s the man! He’s like a strutting rooster or the male peacock with all his plumed feathers. And he should be. A woman reaching a climax is not as easy as it is for a man. That is no secret to the sophisticated and worldly man. So the condom companies have researched ways to make sex for enjoyable for women. And just about every brand known to man has gotten on the bandwagon.
It is difficult to find the one condom that works the best. Different condoms work for some while they do nothing for others. It truly is a trial and error system – but getting there is half the fun!
What Women Say
Women’s Health Magazine says that they tested 25 different condoms and came up with what they felt were the best condoms in the market for women:
LifeStyles Warming Pleasure
The water-based lubricant has a warming agent that stimulates the clitoris, labia and vaginal wall. The tester said, “The sensation was mild but very sensual–almost like a warm, wet tongue.” This condom was recommended for women who were slow to orgasm.
This condom has powder-fresh aroma unlike the distinctive odor of latex. As most know, it is made for internal organs of sheep. It is latex-free and is incredibly thin and flexible. Men have sworn it feels like bareback to them. But how to women feel? According to the female tester, “This condom felt amazing!” Alas, this condom is not for everyone – only monogamous couples who have been tested. While the lambskin does protect against pregnancy, it does not protect against STDs and HIV.
We are still talking about what gives a woman more pleasure and they included the Durex Performax. The interior of the tip of the condom is coated with a lube that is activated by body heat that Benzocaine. You can call it a junior agent to Novocain. The main idea is that if your man lasts longer, you have a better chance to reach a climax. According to their tester, “Our fun definitely went on longer than usual. These condoms are a smart buy for guys who need them.”
Kimono Micro Thin Aqua Lube
This condom came in next in line to lambskin however it does protect against pregnancy and disease. Kimono advertises that this particular condom is 20% thinner than any of the competition. Women’s Health tester said, “It made sex feel more intimate, and the water-based lube wasn’t at all sticky.”
Trojan Magnum Twister
This condom is mentioned in many surveys regarding likes of women. They are quite large and are much less restrictive than standard condoms which are 15% smaller. The extra latex and twist shape at the tip create additional friction for both parties. This tester claimed, “I swear the tip brushed my G-spot, but it also caused the condom to get stuck inside me. Yikes!” So is this really an endorsement?
Durex Pleasuremax Tingling
This condoms serves double duty – for oral as well as vaginal sex. It has a lube that is flavored with spearmint which is nice for the oral giver. On the receiving end, it had embedded ribs and studs. The tester liked both benefits saying, “The mint tingled my taste buds. And I could actually feel the texture, which isn’t the case with most ribbed condoms.”
The Condom Report
A regular blogger wrote an article quite some time ago saying that he is always talking to men about men’s issues. So he asked his readers to weigh in on which condoms they chose to please their women. These were his top responses:
Trojan Twisted Pleasure. (Where have we heard this one before?) This was the writer’s personal favorite, as well as a number of his readers. It is well suited to please with unique ribs that are ‘twisted’ along the shaft of the condom that add smooth, intense sensation to both the man and the woman.
Trojan Her Pleasure. His readers made Trojan another favourite. This one is specially contoured to fit your penis and has ribbing along the shaft.
Durex Pleasure Curve. This condom is specially contoured to fit around the head of the penis. It allows the women to feel you more than normal condoms.
Lifestyles Warming Pleasure. This was number one in the previous Women’s Health survey. So it appears that women say they like it and men say their women like it. It’s the one with the special lubricant that causes a tingling sensation.
Beyond Seven Aloe. He says his readers tell him that the aloe drives women nuts. The aloe causes a cooling sensation for the girl that she’s never felt before. The truth is that aloe is a natural product that is used for so many purposes including moisturising and relieving pain from burns. It should be a nice sensation.
Why have Sex?
What a question! Sex feels good. Sex is pleasurable. Sex should create orgasms for the man and the woman. Women’s Health, which seems to stay on top of the topic, came out with another list of the top condoms that are supposed to be great for both partners – not just one or the other. Some condoms were repeated from earlier studies which should be a double recommendation.
Trojan Pure Ecstasy Condoms
These are another condom that is wider near the head of his penis for added comfort. Plus, they’re lubricated on the inside and the outside. The benefit is that both partners say this helps both of them to have an orgasm.
Durex Performax Intense Condoms
Yep, this is the one that delays his climax while giving the woman ribs and dots to add to her enjoyment.
Trojan Supra Bareskin Lubricated Condoms
This is a very thin polyurethane condom that Trojan says is “America’s thinnest non-latex condom.” For some reason the magazine suggests that both parties be tested for STIs and STDs prior to using – with no explanation.
Here’s the bottom line. Some women like hairy chests and others don’t. Some women find bald men the sexiest on the planet while others need that head of hair to grab on to. Some women like chocolate and others vanilla. How can we expect one condom to fill all the expectations of all women? It can’t happen.
Finding just the right condom for your partner is a matter of trial and error. Even the errors can be fun. If you are a man who likes to communicate with your partners – ask her! She may tell you one that she has liked from previous experiences – or maybe there is one she has been wanting to try. If neither of those work, go up on line together and read about what is available. One thing is for sure, once you both look at and read about special condoms and their benefit for her, you both will be ready to use ‘old faithful’ just as soon as you turn off your computer. Or before.